How to cope if you’re having a quarter-life crisis

Defining success is becoming more complicated and elusive, but there are ways to cope 

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With the New Year comes a new set of resolutions, all centring around making us more happy and successful.

But defining success is very much a subjective matter.

What looks like success to one person can look completely different to another. But it’s this notion that we all need to lead great lives, with great jobs with a great salary and a great social life – be ‘successful’ – is what is driving many young people to a quarter-life crisis.

Recently, we reported a LinkedIn study that revealed how 72 per cent of Brits have admitted to having a quarter-life crisis – with the median age for the crisis occurring being 26 and it lasting an average of 11 months.

A quarter-life crisis is a relatively new term, comparable to an identity crisis and a sense of feeling overwhelmed by the amount of options available.

The introduction of social media over the past decade has only piled on the overwhelming feeling as it’s now all too easy to compare our lives to others our age – feeling a sense of inadequacy if we aren’t quite where we want to be.

Clinical and chartered psychologist Dr Alex Fowke told the Standard: “We are exposed to significantly more choice - increased opportunities for travel, the advent of the internet and greater social mobility - which brings with it more pressure.

“More choice can generate high levels of anxiety about decision-making and lead to self-blame for failures or incorrect decisions. Exposure to media and celebrity culture can result in enormous and unrealistic expectations which leads us to constantly strive for more, reaching beyond our means.”

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What can we do to combat this feeling of inadequacy?

Dr Fowke suggested evaluating the current crisis and seeing what about it you could change.

He explained: “Setting clear short-term, medium-term and long-term goals for yourself, not only in terms of career but also in terms of lifestyle (exercise, social network, family etc) will help, but then developing an action plan that breaks these down into achievable and manageable steps.

“Achievements can lead to an increased sense of confidence and competence. There are strategies to help avoid or manage a crisis head on, from basic changes such as attending to lifestyle factors such as diet, sleep and exercise, as well as avoiding excesses (drinking, drugs etc) to help moderate excessive anxiety and symptoms of depression, all the way through to seeking professional support from a qualified therapist."

Work-life balance is also crucial in not diving head-first into a quarter-life crisis. Don’t make work your whole life. Work hard, but make time for things you enjoy also.

Dr Fowke added: “Developing a better work-life balance rather than focusing on climbing the corporate ladder can help. It's also important to ask for help at work, gaining support from coaches in the workplace. Having a mentor can be enormously helpful when it comes to those bigger life moments and decisions.”

Success doesn’t just have to be about the big milestones in life – define success by the smaller things like having a great dinner with your friends, having a good day at work or taking time to yourself to exercise.

If you are struggling with the direction you’re heading in, you are not alone. Navigating adulthood is never easy, but you’ll get there.